Palestine, I am sorry. I am sorry on behalf our thick headed Harper government that opposed your bid to become an Observer State at the UN. I am sorry that Harper is oblivious to the suffering you’ve endured over the past 45 years. I am sorry, that our Foreign Minister, John Baird, is a dogmatic ideologue who defends Israel – your occupier- in the same way overzealous clerics preach from the pulpit.

I know, I know. Baird flew all the way to the UN to scold everyone about how silly it is for you to proceed unilaterally without Israel’s consent. It’s regrettable that he made a laughing stock of himself in front of the whole world. If only he, like the rest of us, could see the foolishness of his argument: Baird doesn’t want you to advance unilaterally for statehood. Yet, he doesn’t have a problem with Israel’s 45 year-old unilateral occupation and the continued unilateral colonization of your land. Shame on him.

See, the thing is, we weren’t always this idiotic. Our country has generally played an even hand in conflicts around the globe. You might find it hard to believe, but we were actually one of the founders of modern-day peacekeeping. Lester Pearson, our former PM, actually won the Nobel Peace Prize for tackling the Suez Crises. This episode is probably the second time he turned over in his grave. The first one was when they gave Obama the Peace Prize.

So, casting the ‘No’ vote now makes us a part of the Notorious Nine; the nine disgraceful governments who refused to acknowledge your Statehood – while they hypocritically carry the banner of the two-state solution. Well, at least, the rest of the world is smart enough to recognize that Israel has constantly jeopardized the two-state solution by continuing the settlement enterprise.

Everyone knows that negations have taken you nowhere over the past 20 years; you’ve only lost more land – its understandable you had to take such drastic measures. We applaud you for overcoming threats from bullies like our own government, and for being bold enough to march ahead.

Now, I want you to forget about the Notorious Nine for a while. I know they’ve threatened to cut your funding, but the money will come. It always does. Look at the bright side: you can now negotiate with Israel on higher diplomatic terms. You can take them to the International Criminal Court for perpetrating heinous crimes against you. You can actually hold your oppressor legally accountable. We all know that’s the main thing they were afraid of: you gaining more power and winning popular support of the public.

You might be wondering what has caused Canada, the peace loving nation of maple syrup and hockey, to delve into the realm of diplomatic absurdity. Well, it’s mainly the Harper government. They tricked us into voting for them – I know, it’s silly. We promise never to do it again. But we’ve also become complacent because of our glorious past as a bastion of human rights. For example, when the UN tried to warn us about our shortcomings in fulfilling food requirements for the needy, we told them to go ‘f*** off’ and lecture some third-world country. Know what I am sayin?

So, in conclusion, I want to apologize again for the lunacy and shortsightedness of our government. Canadians are a good people; we’ve always stood by the side of the oppressed. It is unfortunate that our country voted to be on the wrong side of history; we will regret that in the centuries to come. However, as history has also indicated, justice will triumph and you will eventually have your freedom. And when that happens, I hope our government will smarten up and issue you an official apology. Good luck in the fight ahead!